Thursday, January 23, 2014

Five Years



On Tuesday, 1/21/2014, I quietly celebrated the 5th anniversary of my remission.

Those five years have held joy and pain, as years tend to do.

The first years were oddly difficult. Simmering family and personal issues, which had been back-burnered specifically because of my cancer, exploded. We’re still picking up the pieces, but at least we’re picking them up.

I went back to school and earned a college degree. (Bucket List Win!) I found my dream job, only to lose it along with my hard won self-confidence. I found another job—not as high-paying—but definitely rewarding and important in its own way; and I’ve found an acceptance there which I enjoy immensely.

I watched my son and daughter become adults, and I cheered as they each graduated from high school. One is in college, the other has chosen a military path, and I am incredibly proud of them both.

I lost a few friends. 

I gained more.

I lost a few pounds. 

I gained… more.

I lost my beloved greyhound Simon. 

He can never be replaced.

I gained two cats. 

They are quirky and weird and make me smile.

I published a few books. 

I wrote a few more, which I hope to publish soon. 

I developed a few health problems that are generally attributed to the radiation. But hey, small potatoes compared to the alternative.

I never found romance.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring?

Every summer, I have participated in the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life in my community. I do it because I can, in memory of those who can’t, and in support of those who are still fighting or who will have to fight.

In some ways, I hope I’ve become a better person in the aftermath of cancer. 

In other ways, I think I’ve become a worse person. 

But for both better and worse, I have had five years to become. Maybe I’ll have five more. Or ten. Or twenty. I would enjoy the opportunity, but no matter what the future holds, I have survived for five years post-diagnosis.

And I am incredibly grateful for that.  

The Author and Offspring - 2013